i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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