So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
