What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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