K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
