I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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