im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
