I molested 6 butterflies tonight
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's never too late to be topless.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
