he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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