The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
