Yo dont text me then not text me
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
