Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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