In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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