Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
