i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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