Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
