More tranny stories later!
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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