Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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