PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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