On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Less talking, more tequila
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
