I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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