My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
