I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I didn't notice because vodka
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
