i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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