You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
