it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
