please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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