You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
