Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
