Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
