Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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