Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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