Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
