Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
