Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
