Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize