dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
