Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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