why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
