I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize