We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
