I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
