the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
