There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
