Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize