are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
