that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Terrible idea I love it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
