Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
