So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
