I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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