Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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