Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
