Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
did you just send me my own nude
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize