I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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