He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
