Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize