Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize