dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
