where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
