Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
