So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
