My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Floor bacon is actually really good
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize