FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
