I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize