Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
