You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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