Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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