areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
