i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
