i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
