Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
