im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
